Stephen Colbert salutes UVA’s Class of 2013 Followed by this.
FUCKING THANK YOU.
Wizard Rap
i am reminded that english is a flawed language every time I am forced to use “that that” in a sentence
Dr. Cranquis' Mumbled Gripes: Medically-Correct Nursery Rhymes: 5 Little Monkeys Jumping on the Bed →
I lol’d.
(with apologies to Eileen Christelow)
Five little monkeys jumping on the bed,
One fell off and hurt his head,
The mama called the doctor, and the doctor said,
“No more monkeys jumping on the bed!”
Then…
Four little monkeys jumping on the bed,
One fell off and hurt his head,
The mama called the doctor, and the doctor said,
“Seriously? Another one within an hour? Let’s talk about basic home safety.”
Then…
Three little monkeys jumping on the bed,
One fell off and hurt his head,
The mama called the doctor, and the doctor said,
“This is getting ridiculous, it’s 1 am, why are your children still awake?”
Then…
Two little monkeys jumping on the bed,
One fell off and hurt his head,
The mama called the doctor, and the doctor said,
“OK NOW I AM SERIOUS, PUT THE MATTRESS ON THE FLOOR OR SOMETHING!”
But…
One little monkey jumping on the bed,
She fell off and hurt her head,
The mama called the doctor, and the doctor said,
“sigh… have you ever heard about Munchausen by Proxy?”
(Check out the musical version, with monkey sound effects by Mrs. Cranquis and me!)
growing up means realizing a lot of your old friends are assholes
